Recklessly Blown Away

Being careful is something that is deeply ingrained in us. It's one of the first lessons our parents teach us (often in a panic!) and the lesson only gets reinforced with time. Be careful when you cross the street. Be careful when you talk to strangers. Be careful when you fall in love. Be careful when you choose a career. Be careful with the baby. Be careful that you don't fall... Be careful...

I'm not advocating dangerous behaviour. Nor am I suggesting you should endanger your life or the lives of people around you. What I am suggesting is that perhaps being careful is not all that it's cracked up to be. Recently I've become more reckless. This is largely due to the fact that I'm exhausted from studying, working, and living, and I simply don't have any energy left into "caring".

I feel that caring, in this sense, should be defined. It's different than sparing a thought for a loved one's safety. It's different than passion for a hobby, sport, or interest. Caring, in the sense of "Be Careful", is to anticipate negative outcomes, let worry for that possible reality set in, and then act as if it has already happened.

So I don't have enough energy to "care"... to borrow troubles from an uncertain future and let that worry cloud the moment. But instead of finding myself in the throes of disaster, I find that my life feels free. Not caring, for me, has become the real version of living in the now. It's not that I'm unaware of the possible consequences of my actions. It's that, until such time as a consequence occurs, I will chose to live as if it hasn't happened yet. Worrying about something before it happens doesn't make things any easier when it comes time to actually deal. All worrying does is ruin the moment you're in.

I love this quote. The way it begins speaks to people who spend all their time caring. The fact that She is in the storm is adventure enough: good for her. And those people celebrate the fact that She did not blow away. Because they are being careful. Blown away is reckless... unpredictable... undesirable.

But what those people don't realize is: if She doesn't allow the wind to blow her away She will never discover new sights, new places, new thoughts... She might encounter calamity:

But then again... she might not.